New Beginnings

2011-07-14T00:22:00.000-07:00

It's new and it Shimmerz!!!
It is ENAMELZ!!!
GO here for the details and a video!

Blog Candy @ Such a Pretty Mess

2011-07-11T00:09:00.000-07:00

So head on over and have a change to win these amazing "Dusty Attic" and many other beauties here!

The lovely Gabrielle at Such a Pretty Mess is "Paying it Forward"...
Check out the awesome goodies she is giving away!

Scrapperlicious aka Irene Tan is Celebrating a MILLION HITS!

2011-06-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

Check it out HERE

My first Blinkie!!!

2011-05-11T21:24:00.000-07:00

I just got my first Blinkie here on my blog and I'm over the moon!!!

I'm really happy being a socialite on The Color Room Team and it brings joy and pleasure to my life daily!!!

I love all the great work that I see and the wonderful people that I get to meet.

Should have done something like this years ago...

Still just Beginning!!!

2011-05-04T23:33:00.000-07:00

I have not been blogging for YEARS.

But I have decided to start new and do as much as I can, even if it is only one entry per week.

Just got back from Easter Holidays and we had the fortune of spending just over a week in the “Bushveld”. We took our “time-shared” caravan and went to ATKV Eiland Spa(which translates to Island Spa). Turns out, it had all the heat and sand of an Island but no surf. Then again, this is the bushveld...Heated pools, ice cream and lazy uncomfortable naps was all we needed.

I just love camping and we did have a great time, but decided to come home early to avoid the traffic back and to settle back into things back home.

The house is still a mess. Thanks to Celia most of the “stuff” will be cleared form view and by the end of this work week you won’t even notice that we had been away.

So I started thinking about my inability to get started with my scrapbooking.

I contribute this to my lack of organisation in my studio. But because the term will start this week for the ladies to start painting again, I think I will have to move my scrapbooking stuff somewhere else. I found just the spot...my husband’s “lapa”. This is an enclosed area with a thatch roof where we “braai”(BBQ) and entertain. But because it’s not always in use and it’s big I thought I’d add a cupboard or two and have my own little scrapping spot. Not exactly the “Andy Scrap Shack“ that I’ve always wanted, but it will be motivation enough to just get started.

I will add a few “BEFORE” pics and maybe later the “AFTER”.

Hubby, Charles just wants to be assured that he will still be able to braai as often as he likes.

Candy Time Agian!!!

2009-07-23T23:38:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

Claire over at CraftyC's is giving away some great free Candy.
Check it out HERE!!!

Stampin'Up Copic Candy!!!

2009-07-13T09:04:00.000-07:00

And then some...MORE Copic Candy

Just go here....

72 Copic Candy At Crafty Goings On

2009-07-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

Crafty Goings On is DOING IT AGAIN!!! 72 Copics Candy! Go check it out!!
Here is my coloured in image that I did a while back.

Music of my life....

2009-05-27T02:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Kristian

Nothing evokes memories, thoughts and feelings of the past quit like music.
Like a gift from heaven and a curse from hell....
"Damn that guy who will forever more remind me of the cruelty of love every time I hear Ti Amor.

My first love...I'm afraid of the fire of love, have I found the one that I've been dreaming of. On this road to forever, will we be together or will we burn in the fire of love...

First kiss...Kiss me - Indecent Obsession

First lust...Hungry eyes

My subconscious is like a database full of 'locked' memories and some songs are the key to the locked filing cabinet. And when it opens its like a floodgate of history, of days, hours, minutes or seconds gone by.

Music is like manna for the soul, nourishment for the psyche....
Songs that can make me cry or laugh...the Carpenters, Alanis Morisette, Roxette, Queen, Nirvana, REO Speedwagon, Cranberries, A-HA, Madonna, Micheal Jackson,REM, Pearls Jam Elvis... you name it I have one song standing out like a sore thumb.Something that I can associate or recall when just hearing the first few notes or intro.
How many times have I deliberately turn off the radio or switched the station just because...Oh Sherry- Steve Perry

A friend of mine used to do these 1 on 1, playing a song, sessions when ever we visited.
Every person got a chance to play his or her song, starting with favourites to golden oldies to the best two step song or the saddest...Everybody Hurts or Nothing compares to you.
Fortunately he is a DJ and there was plenty to pic from...
I remember the punk headbanger songs that unleashed the social delinquent within, lying...waiting... latent... dormant ...untill ....Bohemian Rhapsody!
Nobody can deny the guaranteed nostalgia of your favourite songs.

I find myself listening to same stuff over and over these last few weeks...all sad and melancholic!

Sometimes the lyrics just captures to essence of the emotions. I don't know how to say it but there is always a song that can describe how I'm feeling.

I pray that you would be blessed with memories in association with music.
That you will listen with your heart first and forget with your mind first.
Because that way you will always be pleasantly surprised to hear an old favourite..

Coming full circle!!!

2009-02-19T21:24:00.000-08:00

I've heard Oprah talking about somethings going full circle in life.
I suppose it's when you start doing something and then some time later you get to the exact same point where you started, having completed the circle.

We determine the way the end result looks like and the attitude with which we come to this point.

I have experienced this in the last week. I was asked by my ex husband's lawyer to testify for him in court about what happened in the accident.
My biggest fear came true. I would have to not only see him, but stand up for him in a high court.
The man who blamed me for the accident and then tried to physically harm me. The man I divorced because he no longer emotionally had the appearance of the husband I had married only months ago.
But I went. And I saw him and his older wife. I was shocked and shaken.
It would be the very last time I would have to see him.

I had come full circle...

What have YOU done?

2009-01-14T23:32:00.000-08:00

Here's a fun little exercise I saw over at Dinah's blog

You are to "bold" or highlight the things that you have done.
So let's see what I can "bold" ...

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland /world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelos David

41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa (I'm form South Africa...HA-HA)
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie .. no but been on TV!
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle (Hence the broken bones)
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book

81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

If you think this is fun, then you should give it a try.

The Proudest Mommy!!!

2009-01-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

Today I'm just the Proudest Mommy ever.
My daughter Kristian went to school, Pre-Primary, without a tear.

It is a new day and a new school year started today. Here in South Africa our schools start at the beginning of each year. And today Kristian went to a new preschool. I was unhappy wiht the school she was at for the last 2 and half years and decided to take the chance and take her to a new school.

I just dreaded the the thought of the first few days though, because from past experience she always cries and puts up a big fight when there is a separation from us.

But NOT this year!!!

And it's actually because of a simple method I learn on a TV program.

Using her dolls, we played out how this day will be, every night now for the last week.
We started with going to bed early, mommy, daddy and herself. Then getting up, getting dressed and eating. We get into the car and drive to school, and then say 'hello' to the new teacher and the all the new friends. And then Mommy says goodbye and drives back. We keep up the play about how she then plays with all the new friends and reads and does all the thing they do in kindergarten. Also about going to the toilet, and playing outside. And then...Mommy comes to fetch her again. This is very important because this way she knows that Mommy 'will come back for me'.

And guess what?? Yes, there were NO tears and No anxiousness. It went very smooth.
This method can be used with children going to hospital or on any occation where there might be that dreaded seperation angsiaty.

IT REALLY WORKS.
Does it matter than that I came home and cried a bit....?
Nuh, it's okay, big girls may cry.

Happy New Year testing!!!

2009-01-03T05:37:00.000-08:00

Free Candy...must be a Happy New Year to All!!!

I follow a lot of blogs these days and one of my favorites is giving away FREE CANDY!!!
So check out Rachel's Candy on here blog: Papercrafts by Rach.

Inspiration.

2008-11-19T00:39:00.000-08:00

Where to start???

2008-11-17T00:53:00.000-08:00

I haven't scrapped since I returned from my European Tour. The reason being that I just cannot decide what to scrap first. Should I go by towns visited or do a collage???

Well here are few of my pics anyway...

Motivation...

2008-08-27T00:31:00.000-07:00

Hi my girl,

Today I want to say something about motivation. This is that something we get from a power within that's stronger than any problem situation we may find ourselves in.

Let me put it this way; when we need to get up every morning and do the same thing we did yesterday, or when we have to do something we really don't feel like doing, or when we just need to loose 5kg, know that with the right motivation anything is possible and sooo much easier.

Motivation may be in the form of reward, after what ever you have to do is done...
Or it may be in the form of self gratification...just getting the pleasure of knowing that it's done and you can go on with life knowing that you did a good job.

Don't put your faith in men to give you motivation, they don't grasp the whole idea so well, but when it comes to love, getting that special person to show interest will open an array of motivational thoughts in you.

When I married your dad, I knew that I would do my best to make and keep him the happiest husband in the world. Just because I love him so very much and never wants to loose him.
But this goes both ways, and dad is still doing his very best to me happy. It's a good thing he earns allot of money... but his money is simply a reward for keeping us motivated to love you.

I love you, Kristian

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...

2008-08-15T06:02:00.000-07:00

My dear girl

Let me tell you about the saying; 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...'
It fits those moments when you feel that MEN in any way, shape and size should all just go to hell.

This is actually not the whole saying, it goes like this: 'Heaven has no rage, like love to hatred turned... and Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...by William Congreve (not Shakespeare)

I can only try and teach you things like; never enter a public bathroom ( toilet), without checking that there is toilet paper. But when it comes to relationships that ends badly,vengeance can be appealling.
It might not be dignified but you'll find it very empowering. Lets face it a woman will make someone suffer if she is treated badly. Hopefully that someone will not be me or dad, but the actual person in question.

There are a few things guaranteed when you find yourself in this position:
1. You will feel like a foolish victim - well love is said to be blind.
2. Only time can heal anything you may have 'lost'
3. Your music choices may include songs like - Out of Reach, I will love again, Bleeding Love and as your mood lifts songs like Irreplaceable will come to mind.

I support you one hundred percent should you ever decide to take your revenge, just as long as you keep to the rules. And the only one I can think of at this moment is: Don't brake the law!!!
That includes breaking and entering, property destruction, vandalism and arson.
For the rest I think you can pretty much screw 'him' over, six times from here to next week Tuesday...

Just promise me one thing; Get rid of your possessive emotions quickly!!!

Some of my favourite sayings goes....

2008-07-14T00:05:00.000-07:00

Here are some of my favourite sayings.
And in brackets I added my own thoughts to some of them.
I hope that you may find inspiration and guidance from at least one of them, and that you will strive to live by some of them...

Remember that you are blessed to be stressed... (and if you find yourself not stressed, ask God for more blessings)

Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

However good or bad a situation is, it will change. ( the only thing guaranteed never to change is change itself....)

Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. ( It doesn't mean tine will make you forget... just that the memory of it will be less intense)

What other people think of you is none of your business. ( but it sure is hard not to ignore)

Forgive everyone for everything ( ... including yourself)

No one is in charge of your happiness except YOU. ( this is the hardest thing to learn ever)

Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. ( this includes, the sexy lingerie, the white guests bath towels and the fancy bubble bath)

Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

Make peace with the past, so it won't mess up the present.

You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagreements.

Don't take yourself so seriously, no one else does ( I think this has something to do with having a good sense of humor.)

Life is too short to waste time hating someone.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.

Try to make at least three people smile each day.

Dream more while you are awake.

Live with the 3 E's: Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy
and the 3 F's Faith, Family, Friends (and find a partner a that does the same )

When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement: " Today my purpose is to ..."

Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes a day and smile.

Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful. ( that includes men)

No matter how you feel get up, get dressed and show up. ( ...on time)

Spend time with your loved ones ( ... it may be in silence)

Do the right thing. ( ask if you don't know what that is...)

Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
" I am thankful for..."
" I have accomplished..."
( and add to that... ' I learned today....' and 'the best part of my day was...' )

The best is yet to come

So sick baby...

2008-06-22T23:31:00.000-07:00

You didn't go to school on Thursday or Friday.
Why not? Because you were sick.
You have been sick before and I had kept you out of school before,
but this time was different...
You ended up in hospital.
It started on Wednesday night or Thursday morning.
Dad and I woke up from hearing you vomiting.
I can handle many things, including blood and green snot,
but vomit (specially milky, sower stinky).
We had to bath you twice in one hour.
And by 3am we had no more clean linen including blankets and towel.
I stayed with you so dad could get some rest, cause he had to go to work still the next morning.
But we were both dead tired and slept most of Thursday.
At some point I actually thought you were getting better, cause you happy and playful...
but alas, when dad got home you started vomiting again.
I knew I didn't have anything more to give so of to the hospital we went.
You were so brave...
When the doctor came back and told us that Unitas hospital had no more beds left, I knew were in for a long night. So they sent us Wilgers hospital. We got there after 8 and booked you in.
When the time came for you to get your drip, I was so scared for you. They took you out the room and dad and I sat there in silence waiting to hear a bone chilling scream... but nothing happened.
The next moment you came back with the nurses and they were in total awe, you never made a sound. The head nurse even gave you a chocolate, she was so amazed.
I hated to let you stay behind while I go home, but I knew that you were in good hands. You did beg and plead not for us to go, you actually said: 'Yes I'm ready to go home" , just as dad asked me if I'm ready to go. it was funny, but sad.
But the next day I was back early and you had had a good nights' rest, without any incidence.
But you still had not 'pee-peed' yet, so they kept you for another night.
Saturday morning I was up and ready to go and fetch you at 6am, but then I started feeling lousy. And sure, I had the bug that you had. So I sent dad, and before 11am, you were back home.

Did I mention that I was so proud of you!?!
And that think you are the bravest and most special daughter ever???
Well YOU ARE!!!
And I pray that pain, sickness and hospitals will never be apart of your life for more than check-up, or the removal of your wisdom teeth.
I've had all the operations needed for a whole family... and their friends. And now I found out that I will be getting my pacemaker this week. Hopefully this will be the last operation and hospital visit for me too.

I love you, Kristian!!!
If I could sing I'd sing this to you, but I do pray this for you about every single day:

May the good Lord be with you down every road you roam.

And may sunshine and happiness surround you when you're far from home.

And may you grow to be proud, dignified and true

And do unto others as you'd have done to you

Be courageous and be brave

And in my heart you'll always stay

Forever young, (Forever, young)

May good fortune be with you, may you guiding light be strong

Build a stairway to heaven with a prince or a vagabond

And may you never love in vain

And in my heart you will remain

Forever young, (Forever, young)

And when you fin'lly fly away, I'll be hoping that I served you well.

For all the wisdom of a lifetime, no one can ever tell.

But whatever road you choose, I right behind you win or lose

Forever young, (Forever young)

For Forever young

by Rod Stewart

Starting a list...

2008-06-17T03:04:00.000-07:00

Seems I'm always starting a list.
Lists of 'things-to-do',
'things-to-buy',
'things-to-repair',
'things-to-remember'
and even a list of 'things-to-list'.

Does this make any sense? Well not to all, and everybody, but yes it does to me.
Not only does this help me to organize my sometimes 'hectic' life, but that of my family as well.
If we learned( and have it written down ) to do certain things step-by-step, it takes only half the time and helps to prevent headaches, which in it's own can lead to stress and result in 'Ma(ss)histeria.'

See with some things, like my time, I'm very much a control freak and just about all kinds of hell will break loose should we be late for functions or any prior engagement.
And when it comes to those last few minutes, just before we have to leave the house and drive off to somewhere to be there, only in a hours time, I look back and feel that every thing needed to be done, was done, and in a timely fashion.
Then only to arrive first, waiting around for others to show-up so as not to seem overly anxious just to be.
And then as time go by... we realize that inevitably, we forgot something. Maybe just a warm jacket, or blanket for Kristian, if she wants to sleep but sometimes it's something worse, like forgetting the present when going to a birthday party. (This seems to happen allot lately)

But in the end we enjoy the outing just the same as we would have had I not demanded that the house be cleaned from top to bottom,(just in case something happens while we're away, so the burglars won't think bad of me) that the yard be neat and the car, ourselves ("Remember to always where clean underwear") and everything we take along, be spit and polished....

My poor hubby and daughter, I'm so sorry for making you go through my list of routine cleaning just because I'm a PERFECTIONIST.

Another Birthday coming up!!!

2008-06-12T23:28:00.000-07:00

This is the table decorations and the food packs. They were full of worm,spider and all things gooey, sweets and crisps and a drink. I draw the spider's web and the attached the spider on it.
On the table were lots confetti, (spiders, witches and bats) and rubber toys including bats and rats and snakes. In the buckets ( Jack-O' Lanterns) were coloured popcorn and crisps.

Charles and I decided to do a 'Witch-crash', scene. I borrowed the big doll from my sister's daughter and dressed her in black on the broom. There was a soft toy cat sitting behind her, but I guess it fell of.

Our porch came in handy for the giant spider web and the the spider on top. We made ourselves with plain yarn and some stretched out cotton.

My ghost ring was to keep the kids off the patch of new lawn, and in the centre was one of the many fake grave stones I made. This one read: VACANCY, with an arrow pointing down.

And this is the graveyard. Some read: Sean Bettadays, Casper, Count Dracula Born 1653 Died 1844,1952,2006... and 'If you can read this... get the heck off!(printed in small letters). And a very small one read: Polly choked on a cracker.

Another Birthday is coming up for Kristian, and last year this time I had already planned and started to make some of the party decor and even the invitation.

This year my preparations seems to be dragging behind at a terrible pace.
Accept for a theme and an idea or two of what to do, I have no concrete plan or anything to start with.
Besides that, I'm not here on Kristian's Birthday, as my mom and I will be in Europe, on tour.

And added to this, some of our friends also have kids who share there birthdays in the same week . And as per norm, the party is then held on the Saturday before or after the actual Birthday.

come to think about it, there will be birthday parties every Saturday from late September, straight through into December, some of which are already booked.

But if we can find a way to have Kristian's birthday somewhere in between I want it to be a " Hawaiian Luau".
Charles is set on getting an 'inflatable slide' and lots of water fun. Where as I'm thinking more fun food and bright decor.

Hopefully we'll come to some or other compromise and give you another birthday that everybody will be talking about for years to come, as they did about your second birthday.

Here are pics form your Halloween Birthday Party!!! It shows all the fun we had and all the great stuff I were able to make for decorations.

Discover what is waiting for you...

2008-06-11T03:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Kristian,

With the cool breeze of winter wafting in, the desire to stay inside and rather sleep in a warm soft bed grows ever so much.
However I have managed to keep busy with painting and other arts and crafts.
To my absolute amazement, Adine and the rest of the girls actually liked my abstract paintings.

I want you remember that you to are blessed and gifted. So if the desire swoops over you to create something, know that it comes from MY SIDE of the family.

I'm sure dad will tell you that I was ones told by a fortune teller ( on radio ) that you will be creative and maybe what to pursue a career in design ( clothes, or something ). Although I think this an excellent choice, I am afraid that like me you might get bored with doing the same thing over and over. I have a tendency to drop everything and start something else....
Like scrap booking, beading didn't hold my attention very long. Then came card making and now I'm trying the painting thing. Well, we'll have to just see how long long it will last.
Again you have a great dad who will support you in whatever avenue of arts and crafts you may pursue.

So go ahead and discover what is waiting for you...

More on marriage.

2008-05-06T22:49:00.000-07:00

Now that you (Kristian) know that I was married before being married to dad, I want to tell you what I think did go wrong.

Yes the fact that he became an aggressive and hateful person, due to the personality change, significantly contributed to my decision to get the divorced.
But I realised just soon after the whole accident thing, that my marriage was in deep water right from day one.

I married him out of guilt...
He was my first sexual partner. And I felt that in order to stay true to my faith, (Christianity) I had a duty to marry this man. Besides we had spent the previous four years together. What else was I suppose to do?

Now I know that that was wrong. I could have, at any time, (even at the alter) changed my mind and followed my heart.
This doesn't mean that I never loved him. I did. But when my sister asked me one day, after telling her that I wanted her help to get the divorce; 'But don't you still love him? Surely love don't just GO AWAY?'
And I answered; 'It didn't... just GO AWAY. It was replaced... with hate.'

Cold as that may sound, that IS what happened.
All the bundled up feelings of the past, the regret of making the mistake to get married, together with the emotional and physical pain of the accident, made me hate him.
Maybe I even blamed him for it.
I always felt that the other driver, who caused the accident was not to blame. She was just an instrument in God's hands to open up my eyes, let me see the light, and get me back on the right track.
It was the hardest lesson I ever had to learn and would never wish the same upon even my worst enemy...
Yet to a decree, I feel honoured. Sending me down the road of pain, dis pare and life threatening circumstances, was an extreme measure on God's side, all just to tell me that He loves me.
(Always did say that God counts the tears of woman)

THAT was our biggest mistake, as a married couple. The fact that we did not share the same religious views.
Oh my girl, that is sooo important I cannot even begin to tell you how.
He always had this excuse, that somewhere in his life he was offended by a priest/pastor, and then and there he decided that church is just a place where hypocritical people meet. He didn't need to go...
Maybe that's true, but as Ds Botha always says to those who share that same view; ' If church is just a place where hypocritical people meet... there is always space for one more'

But that wasn't the only big difference between us. Our age difference was to great, our family ties was different, our friends was miles apart, even our ambitions in life and the way we dealt with conflict or miscommunication was like Earth to Pluto...
Our two worlds was just irreconcilable, harmonious folly... ( Get a dictionary if you don't understand )
The inevitable result was either the divorce or a miserable and unfulfilled marriage to a man I couldn't stand.
I remember, at some stage, that I was irritated by his every move. Everything he said felt wrong to hear. The way in which he conducted himself in front of his friends was like someone who was insecure. He HAD to win an argument, even with family. He was sloppy and unhelpful around the house. And he kept the despairing state of our finances from me.

These are things that are difficult to see, especially when your young ( I was too young at 20), and inexperienced. Nobody gets a manual when it comes to marriage, but learning from others mistakes is worth a lifetime of fortune.

In conclusion: I love you (Kristian). And as cliche as it might sound... there is nothing you can do, or say or not do, or not say... that would EVER make me love you less.
I might not always LIKE you, but I will ALWAYS love you.
You'll understand that better once you have your own children.

Where to start...?

2008-05-05T05:14:00.000-07:00

At first I thought I should just grab the dictionary and go through all the advise that comes to mind as the letters in the alphabet ( or words) comes up...
But then I got this great e-mail from my brother and I just knew that I had to start with IT.

Marriage...

Not only is this, the most important part of my life, but I want you ( Kristian ) to have the best marriage ever.
That might sound like a 'big deal', and like I'm 'expecting' you to actually marry, Mr. Right.
NO. All I really want is for you to consider a few things, or, to keep a few of my mistakes in mind, and try not to make the same ones, when the time comes for you to say: YES, I do!!!

So here goes...

"Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this."
(1 Corinthians 7:28b).

Can you imagine this passage of Scripture quoted as part of a wedding ceremony?
The Apostle Paul's realistic take on marriage goes against the romantic ideal of"love at first sight" and, even more, the belief that wedlock will bring perpetual bliss.
But Paul's opinion on marriage (not surprisingly, Paul chose to remain single) does spotlight a truth that couples cannot afford to ignore - whether they're contemplating getting married, are already engaged, or have been wed for years.

Being a husband or wife is not easy. More specific, marriage will, at times, bring great difficulty. Divorce remains prevalent because many couples do not realize this, so when trouble comes, they give up too soon, hurt and disillusioned as their definition of what a marriage should be becomes shattered.

I don't want that to happen to you. Therefore, I put together this unusual list - the Seven Reasons NOT to Get Married - to give you the reality check you need to go into marriage, or continue onward in your existing marriage, with your eyes wide open. Consider each one carefully and honestly.

You should probably not get married if...

1. You are unwilling to put the needs of another persons above your own.
Romans 12:10 says, "Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." In the Greek, "devoted" is defined in this verse as reciprocal tenderness, while "honor" is identified as showing deference to another person.How often are these characteristics apparent in how you behave toward your fiance or spouse?

2. You are easily offended, carry grudges or are unwilling to forgive.
An overly sensitive, vengeful or calloused attitude has no place in any relationship, especially a marriage. The Bible gives you the challenging yet correct standard: "Forgive as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13b).

3. You are an abusive person (mentally, emotionally, physically).
Author and domestic violence expert Lundy Bancroft finds that abusers - who, by the way, are primarily men but also include women - abuse for a variety of reasons, including a need for power and control, finding someone to blame for their problems, and wanting to be the center of attention. Do you see yourself anywhere in these attributes?

4. You do not share the same beliefs, values, life priorities or vision.
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Oneness is essential in marriage, and its foundation is built on these characteristics.

5. You have an unresolved addiction problem.
"Like a city whose walls are broken down," Proverbs 25:28 says, "Isa man who lacks self- control." The Web site Addictions.org lists a variety of harmful addictions affecting millions of people, including addictions to sex, shopping,sleeping, people pleasing, perfectionism, pornography, and overworking. Each will undermine marriage if ignored.

6. Your career is the most important thing in your life.
Philippians2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Selfish ambition is interpreted in the Greek as "desire to put one's self forward, a partisan and fractious spirit," while vain conceit is identified as "groundless, empty pride." Examine how your profession shapes who you are. Does it bring out these traits in you?

7. You are unwilling to be an active sexual partner with your spouse.
As a couple, read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. The Bible speaks directly to this vital issue;verse 3 is clear: "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband." There's no room in a healthy marriage for sexual games, and an active sexual relationship works to ward off temptation to sin.

Don't be discouraged if you struggle with any of the above reasons. A quality marriage is not defined as one that's perfect. But do yourself, and your future or current spouse, a favor by committing to change or grow stronger individually in each area. You won't regret it, and will be able to face and overcome the "troubles" of marriage with unity and in God's power.

Now you may ask: So where did I ( your mother ) go wrong?
Well, I hope this doesn't come as a complete surprise to you (Kristian ), that I was married, before I was happily married to your dad...

At the young age of 20, I married a man called Pieter Cronje.
We were dating since I was just out of school and at the time I thought he was Mr. Right.
To make a looooong story short, we were involved in a horrific motorbike ( remind me to get back to you on my view about MOTORBIKES) accident.
After four months in hospital, more fractures than what I have bones and the life changing experiences that came with it all, I divorced him.

We had been married for only seven months at the time of the accident.
And as we often do, I can now look back at that and know that all the signs, NOT to have married him, was there from the first day we met.
But the fact that he had undergone a 'personality change', as an indirect result to his injuries, was probably the deciding factor. He became physically violent.
I had to wonder whether this wasn't part of his personality all the time...?
I mean, a person cannot change into something that they are not, at least not on some level.

I know that I will be adding to this story A LOT, in future blogs.
So I'll leave it at that and give you time to think about it...

A guide to Kristian

2008-05-05T03:39:00.000-07:00

This blog is meant as a guide to my daughter Kristian, someday when I'm no longer around.

I'm just 29 years old and have a heart condition that will likely end my life very prematurely.

So, I got the idea from a movie that I have seen a while ago called: 'My life without me'.

In the movie a young woman and mother of two girls is diagnosed with a disease (cancer) and given only a few short months to live. She then decides to make recordings of herself giving advise and saying things to those she leaves behind. These include saying 'Happy Birthday' for every upcoming birthday of her girls and just talking about everyday things in life that she would have wanted to tell them as they grow-up. Like boyfriend advise, and the 'does-and don'ts '. All the ups -and -downs of being a teenager, the mistakes she made and what she learned from them....

But instead of leaving hundreds of tapes behind, wishing my daughter 'Happy birthday', and just talking to her about life, I want her to read this someday. Nothing is as inspiring as a visual stimulant. Besides we tend to remember better that way.

And I remember someone saying that we don't remember days, but only moments...

How true? When I remember my dad, who has past away nearly 13 years ago, I see him as he was in my favourite photograph I have of him.

Maybe I will add a few instructions for my husband Charles, too. Men are not the best 'mummies' when girls needs a mother. And theyare not as emotionally connected to life as we woman are, so maybe a reminder to him every now and then to 'feel' and an 'instruction'; like a recipe, to do a few things for me, won't be such a bad idea.

One thing that comes to mind right away, is that he has to take her to the movies, like it's a date. Then he should treat her the way a boyfriend should. You know, open the door for her, give her his jacket when she's cold and compliment her dress. This will give her a good bases to work from when looking for 'Mr Right' someday. Besides they say that girls tend to marry men 'just like their dads'. Let him be a good dad...

And I want to use this 'blog' space to show my work as a scrapper. The best part about scrapping is getting commentary about it. Good or bad, critique is welcome. This gives us an idea of what other people, who look at it more objectively, think about our work.

And making something that strangers approve of, is one of the most awarding accomplishes ever.

I also want to create an interactive place for friends, and 'would -be -friends', to leave some of their thoughts and comments to what I do and say.

So, here is a picture of Kristian and her dad, at age.... a few minutes.

Let this be the first of many "NEW Beginnings" for us.

And if you like it, feel free to post a comment to the idea.